Death to pride

0:00 So there was this DI was still in school then I was in my final year. I can't remember why exactly I was leaving the hostel because I know I didn't have classes that day. But I know I was leaving the hostel and it was in the morning, so I left early. I was going, I think to the computer lab. So maybe I was going to work on my final year project. I wasn't sure why exactly but I knew I was leaving the hostel so I had gotten outside the hostel gates. I was just about to turn to the point where I just like to maybe take like transport straight to the lab and I heard a loud voice.

0:38 I don't know how to describe it but the word. I don't know whether it was humility or humble or be humble. I think it was humility. It just loudly rang within me. I don't there's no better way to describe it. There's no way to exactly explain how it was for me in the Moon War. I knew all the experience and you just Bush or whoosh. I don't know if the sound effects can properly portray it, but I just shared it loudly with my spirit humility. And it was strange. It was strange. I could tell that this was God trying to say something.

1:14 This was God trying to communicate something to me. So I just felt OK, you know what, definitely, maybe it's a thing. We could want you to understand subject matter more or we just want you to pay attention to it. So that day I, I was pondering on it. So eventually when, when I got to the lab, when I was just sitting down, I decided to do what I like to do, listen to sermons and I'd give my ears to the listening of sermons a lot. So I went like, I have some people that I listen to. So went to find a teaching on humility.

1:49 I found the first one and I listened to it. And before the summer was over, I was in tears. You know, there are some cases where it's like, oh, maybe your eyes are watering, like you're about to start crying, but then you stop yourself. You know, you're trying to fight it. That wasn't the case this time. It was bad. I was bawling my eyes out. It was a case where if somebody, somebody asks what's wrong with you, what happened? I was bawling my eyes out After I listened to the first one. I was I listened to the second one and then I listened to the third one, All on the subject matter of humility, talking about this thing called pride.

2:34 This thing called pride. Hi, welcome or welcome back to the Rooted podcast here. Timeless biblical truth is brought into everyday life me way that's clear and all of those things. So yeah, see, we're talking about pride and it is one struggle that I can relate to so well. Like if someone comes from a meet, meet me or tell me, oh, how do you do pride or oh, I'm struggling with pride. My first Instagram is always I can relate. I'm not saying this to dismiss what they're feeling like kind of comparable.

3:11 So you get the idea that, oh, I understand your struggle. I can relate to your struggle. I see people who have this humility thing on that check and I will not like I am envious of them. I'm so envious. I'm so jealous. God, why is why is it so easy? Again, I don't know the hearts of people. So maybe it's just the outward look, but it seems like there's something I can tell, like I can genuinely perceive that they are very, very humble and down to earth people and I covet. It's in this Bible language.

3:45 I love it so much and I want that kind of thing. And so that day when God gave me that leading to just try and focus on the subject matter of humility. I mean, fine, made sense. It's good. And this is something I've prayed about, you know, like God, I want to be the humble person the way how Jesus was so down to earth. I also want to be so down to earth and all of that. So I started listening and on listening, I was punching on subject matter. Of course, listening to it. There's a thing where the word of God just exposes your flaws.

4:20 So it's like I knew I had issues, but then it just opened me up to the fact that I had so many issues and dire issues are that I think the subject matter of pride is such a delicate one. When you think of the fact that Lucifer morning star, the devil, the serpent, whatever you want to call him in Isaiah, I think 14 or two of I can't remember had that same issue with pride. Like you see him, they say I, I, I, I, I think five times. It was all about himself. And we know that the life that we live is supposed to be one way we glorify Christ.

4:50 So not I, but Christ, I remind of his song. I feel like people have known me like some people in my space will get. It's a very, very nice song. You can search on Spotify. Not I, not I. So anyway, let me just go on. So anyway, I was listening, I was listening and it was, it was really getting to me like I was, I was crying so badly. I was crying so badly because at that point I felt frustrated. I felt stuck, like the the teachings did one thing. They helped me to know that or they helped me to realise that I had an issue and it was worse than I thought or I was not dealing with it as well as I should have been dealing with it.

5:33 And I think what made it more dangerous because it was subtle. If there are some cases where pride is very, very all out and just very, very obvious from Beyoncé's, the person who is proud even knows that they are proud. But in their cases where you're doing some things out of pride, but then you, you might not even realise it. And that one is even more dangerous, that one is even more difficult to handle. I realise that that was the case a lot of times my the issues I might even have with pride were just things that happened within my heart's ball at this was enough for me to know and I'm wise enough to know or I'm not eligible enough to know that God knows as well as I was.

6:14 I wasn't comfortable. I was crying, I felt frustrated. I was temporarily, I know this might sound insolent of me. This might sound ask me how dare you say this book? For a while I sort of felt angry at God. I felt I felt frustrated like, God, why did you give me some of the graces or some of the privileges that you gave me and you did not accompanied with this, the level of humility that was needed, like why did the humility, why was it not a full package? So as I'm giving this, I'm giving the humility to follow it.

6:50 Why, why, why does there have to be this struggle? I was, I was crying so bad. You think that that was it's, you know, eventually I cleaned my eyes. I stayed there after I stopped crying. I stayed for a long time, you know, so my eyes would dry out. They were still red. But this if a person sees me and Droid, they might just assume you're sleeping. But apart from that, I just I got myself fast. So then I was washing. I was outside of my hostel. I was washing clothes. I think that was when I was listening to the third teaching on the subject matter of humility.

7:24 And my mom calls, she calls me and she says she feels like talking to me on subject matter of pride. That day I was at that point I lost like of course I'd not say anything about my mouth was like, Oh my God, I lost it. I was just I felt so set up that day. I felt so pained. I felt so hot. I felt so cornered. I felt ganged up against like he felt like the people I was listening to the preachers, my more God, everybody was just choking me, that kind of thing. In retrospect, I look back, it was all for my good it that day.

8:02 I won't forget that day. It did a lot of work on my heart. So and she's talking to me and what's 1 move has talked to me. She said she saw my deep in my deep was a picture of me. I was in a suit. I was holding a mic. Classic cliche, I know. But anyway, she said she wanted to talk to me. She's just reminding me. It's not something that she has not said before. She reminded me one of the things I can destroy a person is pride and things like that. And as she was saying, is it, you know, when maybe somebody's just hits me hard, like it's, it's slapping or maybe when you drink lime directly after it's juiced, It was just slapping.

8:41 I was, you know, I was doing my body. After that, I, I broke down into tears again. Like after the call, I just, I started crying again, again. I felt so, so helpless. I didn't know what to do. Why am I saying no? Because I'm saying this because maybe there's someone who can relate to this, maybe you can relate to this, maybe you've been in this situation. If you cannot relate, I'm envious of you. I'm happy for you. I think it's good that pride is not something that you struggle with. Although I do think everybody in one way or the other has experienced it or has had to overcome it.

9:18 But of course, some people struggle with more than others. But anyway, if there's someone who maybe also has this issue or maybe I'm even aware, I think that's even a more precarious situation. But whatever the case might be, once you know that I can relate and it's possible to overcome. It's possible. It is possible by the Spirit of God. So eventually after I had cried, I think one thing I know is at the end of the day, while crying might feel good because at that moment I felt very, very small.

9:49 I felt very, very small. I had spoken to God while I was crying. I was trying to pray. I was trying to pray, but then the words were not forming me. I don't know how to better explain like when you're trying to talk, but then you're crying or I trust that God hear the words of my hearts. I want to believe I believe so no, I want to believe so I believe so so I cried then you know the words were not for me. I love that. But so after doing that while crying helps me in that moment where I felt so small, I still had to like take other steps.

10:24 So I reached out to my pastor. I poured myself out to him. I think that was the first time I sent him maybe 15 messages at once. I can't remember. So now I'm just looking back, I'm wondering how he might have felt just seen 15 messages coming. Because nobody. I, I like to call myself as this cool and very comforted guy. Like I just no, no stress, no nothing. I don't I don't do too much. I kind of thing I would like to be with. In fact, you know, they how did Moses says and there was no man upon the surface of there that was more meek.

10:59 In this case, I would like to say there was no man upon the surface of there that was more gentle. OK, I'm drinking. I think I'm I'm stretching it here. All right, I'm kidding, I'm kidding. I won't say I'm so gentle, but point is, I wasn't the kind of overexpressive or dramatic person. So if I now enter your DM with 20 messages, for example, like I don't think he had seen me in that life before. But anyway, I did it. I poured my heart out to him and waited for his response. Like I think it took a lot for me not to even just call him immediately.

11:35 Like OK, let me respect the fact that he might have something doing at the time, so he might not even pick like if he's not able to. And then with that. So I waited for his response and eventually he did respond and I think a lot of what he said really helped me. A lot of what he said has stuck with me even till today. I think the first thing was where he talked about or how he opened me up to the fact that the struggle I had was already proof of God's work. The tears, the feelings small, the running to him, the uncontrollable tears before God in prayer.

12:16 Everything was proof of God's work. The fact that I was aware, first of all, that there was an issue and I was able to admit that issue was humility. And him saying that, you know, after you've had such a bad day or maybe you've been trying to work on a maybe, OK, maybe it's the same way. So many people are looking at you. You're trying to cross a finish line and eventually you cross that finish line and so many people are now clapping for you. That was how he felt like, I don't know how better to describe is maybe that feeling when you drink cold water after having a very, very long day and the water just pours down your throat.

12:56 Point is, I was just so happy. I was like, OK, I've not lost my salvation. I'm being extreme. I've been, I'm exaggerating essentially. But point is, it felt good like OK, this is true. God is actually working in me. Philippe Sylvester and God is now God is hardworking you both to will and to do of his good pleasure, glory to God. So he explains that he helped me to see. It reminds me of Romans 7 where Paul talks about the struggle of true natures where it's like the things I want to do, I find myself not doing them.

13:31 So I want to be a humble burden. It's a struggle and in the things I don't want to do, I find myself doing them. So I don't want to be proud, but I find myself in that situation, that kind of the same, that scenario where you end with thanks be to Jesus, Thanks be to Jesus in whom I have victory. So he hope he he helped me to see that better. He opened my eyes so that and it was just such a breath of fresh air. So maybe I listen to this, maybe you've also had these questions. I think the fact that you're already having this question is the fact that there is some sort of discomfort, some sort of dissatisfaction with this thing we call pride with feeling pride, with having that form of pride.

14:11 I feel like we've not even defined what pride is, but it's basically this usually subtle feeling. I mean, there's some form of pride that's authentic, you know, maybe exhale like an activity. It's not bad. You know, when your dad says I'm proud of, it's not bad. But then there's the hubristic kind. That one is a bit more unhealthy. It's an unhealthy desire for prestige essentially. And godliest pride there's I don't think that's a hidden thing. Pride basically comes from you thinking that you have something that other people do not, whereas more often than lots of people other people do.

14:50 So that's pride. So anyway, like I said, if maybe you also have this struggle, the fact that you're not comfortable with it is already proof of God's work in you don't lose hope. There is when times that day where I just felt so hopeless and just getting that reminder that this is proof of God's work. God's work will not always be smooth. I think something I've even realized that if I did not have this struggle with pride, I'm more likely to actually continue in pride or step into pride. Like there's this kind of thing where when you have issues that bring you back to God, it helps to remind you that you are not self-sufficient, but rather you rely on God.

15:37 So if I did not have the struggle, I would not have had the need to go back to God. I don't know if that makes sense. So sometimes the struggles that we have are God's way of keeping us close to him. And initially might look somehow weird, but really it's wise. It's God's way of keeping us close to him. It's God's way of keeping us close to him. And there are a few other things that he told me that you could do about pride or that just lengths that you can do to deal with pride. You want to understand that humility is a choice.

16:12 It's it's a choice. It's, it's not this feeling that just envelops and you're just like, oh, I'm humble of a sudden. Or maybe there's a kind of glue or aura that surrounds you. It's actually a choice. You want to make that choice to be humble. And then there's prayer. There's prayer. One of the beautiful things about prayer is that you meet with God and whenever you meet with God, whenever you are in the presence of God, his glory or his person is magnified. Think Isaiah 6. When Isaiah is before God, you see God in better life.

16:44 Like there's this awe or reverence for God that you have or that's restored in the place of prayer. So I think prayer helps you. Like how low can you go? Basically prayer will help in that. Prayer will determine a lot how low you can go, how well you can die to pride. So there's that. You give yourself to the regular listen of the word of God as well. The word of God exposes our flows or the wrong ways or the wrong ideologies. We might have the wrong ways, we might think. So you want to expose yourself to the word of God in voluminous amounts in voluminous amounts.

17:23 I feel like for this subject matter of pride, for example, Proverbs is the go to guy. He has Solomon has so much to say about it. So like if you need like daily like 2 strokes of a dose of humility or a dose of common sense, perhaps not a bad book. So what are practical things you could do are to share your imperfections, like talk about your imperfections like so many times people just want to give off this perfect vibe this I have it all figured out vibes. Sometimes just let people know that you don't have it all figured out or let people know that there have been times where you failed, even if you're doing very well.

17:58 That means I just let people know you're human. Share your imperfections. Let people know that you are not perfect. Another thing is practice applauding or complimenting people on whatever they do. So you see a person does something so well and you admire it. So you're even thinking, oh, I could never do this or this is better? Or maybe, yeah, everyone thinking I can do this better, maybe even know. I think that's what's really crazy. Like in some situations, you know that you can do this better.

18:28 Go and applaud that person. Tell them well done. Allow your feelings to catch up later on, but then let your actions portray humility. So God knows that deep down you are trying to what, step into this act or spirit of humility. I don't know how better to say it, but point is, compliment people, applaud them, tell them well done, you've done this so well, good, keep on going. Maybe if they need advice somewhere or fight graciously. Don't hold the advice because you just feel like if I give out this advice, people might get as good as me or I might not be as good or I might not be the original guy.

19:10 And last thing is, ask for help. Ask for help. As much as you're offering answers, you are helping people. Ask for help. Even in cases where maybe you understand it, you could still ask for someone's help. Maybe just to make things better, to help solidify what it is that you're doing, or whatever your approach might be. Ask for help. Let people know, oh I need help with this, don't always want to figure it out on your own. Ask for help. I remember there was this time I was trying to do something so one of my friends, she just wanted to support me and she asked me for my account number.

19:43 This was like after the episode where I had cried and all of that. This was a long time. So God, I've done a lot of work in my heart and I think some months back or months back if she asked me, I will never have given her the account number. I just felt like no like why would she help me and things like that. And really we'd like of my own self. I could foot the bill for what I wanted to do, but she just wanted to help. This was her being a good friend. And honestly, like a little money is not a bad thing in family.

20:11 Why would you? How would you collect? It's like, but I remember God speaking to me that meant that collecting this thing is one of the ways by which you humble yourself. And so I, I told her thank you. I sent my account number. I told her, thank you so much. Until today, I'm still grateful for what she did. But more than that, I'm grateful for what God did in my heart in that moment, Graceful God did my heart in that moment. Because really, I had the mind to just find our car number, just send the money back and stuff like that.

20:40 So, yeah, I, I, I think that's pretty much it's for this episode. I really hope that this helps someone. Maybe you have this issue, maybe you don't. Maybe it's something that's a struggle for you. Maybe it's something that's you've never at least thought of, you've never really had an issue with. Whatever the case, I really hope that there was something you could glean from this episode. Please share this with someone as well. Maybe somebody else might have this issue or maybe somebody else might be interested in hearing this.

21:11 Please share this with them. Duo to subscribe as well or to follow. If you're not following, like maybe you've forgotten, maybe you've just been moving on. Now might be a good day to do that. You could also give the show a rating. Yeah. And please pray for me as well. I think how something else came to mind. Somebody's back. Like, Lord, please help him as well. Lord, that kind of thing. I don't know. Whatever is laid upon your heart. So, yeah, take care of yourself. I hope you have a lovely weekend or week.

21:42 Whenever you're listening to this. I just hope you have a lovely rest of the day or yeah, OK, yes. Or yeah or whatever. Just take care of yourself. Bye for now. Stay rooted.