Death to pride
In this episode, I pour my heart out on the subject of pride, discussing how frustrating it can be and how one can overcome it with God's help.
So there was this DI was still in school then I was in my final
year. I can't remember why exactly I
was leaving the hostel because I know I didn't have classes that
day. But I know I was leaving the
hostel and it was in the morning, so I left early.
I was going, I think to the computer lab.
So maybe I was going to work on my final year project.
I wasn't sure why exactly but I knew I was leaving the hostel so
I had gotten outside the hostel gates.
I was just about to turn to the point where I just like to maybe
take like transport straight to the lab and I heard a loud
voice. I don't know how to describe it
but the word. I don't know whether it was
humility or humble or be humble. I think it was humility.
It just loudly rang within me. I don't there's no better way to
describe it. There's no way to exactly
explain how it was for me in the Moon War.
I knew all the experience and you just Bush or whoosh.
I don't know if the sound effects can properly portray it,
but I just shared it loudly with my spirit humility.
And it was strange. It was strange.
I could tell that this was God trying to say something.
This was God trying to communicate something to me.
So I just felt OK, you know what, definitely, maybe it's a
thing. We could want you to understand
subject matter more or we just want you to pay attention to it.
So that day I, I was pondering on it.
So eventually when, when I got to the lab, when I was just
sitting down, I decided to do what I like to do, listen to
sermons and I'd give my ears to the listening of sermons a lot.
So I went like, I have some people that I listen to.
So went to find a teaching on humility.
I found the first one and I listened to it.
And before the summer was over, I was in tears.
You know, there are some cases where it's like, oh, maybe your
eyes are watering, like you're about to start crying, but then
you stop yourself. You know, you're trying to fight
it. That wasn't the case this time.
It was bad. I was bawling my eyes out.
It was a case where if somebody, somebody asks what's wrong with
you, what happened? I was bawling my eyes out After
I listened to the first one. I was I listened to the second
one and then I listened to the third one, All on the subject
matter of humility, talking about this thing called pride.
This thing called pride. Hi, welcome or welcome back to
the Rooted podcast here. Timeless biblical truth is
brought into everyday life me way that's clear and all of
those things. So yeah, see, we're talking
about pride and it is one struggle that I can relate to so
well. Like if someone comes from a
meet, meet me or tell me, oh, how do you do pride or oh, I'm
struggling with pride. My first Instagram is always I
can relate. I'm not saying this to dismiss
what they're feeling like kind of comparable.
So you get the idea that, oh, I understand your struggle.
I can relate to your struggle. I see people who have this
humility thing on that check and I will not like I am envious of
them. I'm so envious.
I'm so jealous. God, why is why is it so easy?
Again, I don't know the hearts of people.
So maybe it's just the outward look, but it seems like there's
something I can tell, like I can genuinely perceive that they are
very, very humble and down to earth people and I covet.
It's in this Bible language. I love it so much and I want
that kind of thing. And so that day when God gave me
that leading to just try and focus on the subject matter of
humility. I mean, fine, made sense.
It's good. And this is something I've
prayed about, you know, like God, I want to be the humble
person the way how Jesus was so down to earth.
I also want to be so down to earth and all of that.
So I started listening and on listening, I was punching on
subject matter. Of course, listening to it.
There's a thing where the word of God just exposes your flaws.
So it's like I knew I had issues, but then it just opened
me up to the fact that I had so many issues and dire issues are
that I think the subject matter of pride is such a delicate one.
When you think of the fact that Lucifer morning star, the devil,
the serpent, whatever you want to call him in Isaiah, I think
14 or two of I can't remember had that same issue with pride.
Like you see him, they say I, I, I, I, I think five times.
It was all about himself. And we know that the life that
we live is supposed to be one way we glorify Christ.
So not I, but Christ, I remind of his song.
I feel like people have known me like some people in my space
will get. It's a very, very nice song.
You can search on Spotify. Not I, not I.
So anyway, let me just go on. So anyway, I was listening, I
was listening and it was, it was really getting to me like I was,
I was crying so badly. I was crying so badly because at
that point I felt frustrated. I felt stuck, like the the
teachings did one thing. They helped me to know that or
they helped me to realise that I had an issue and it was worse
than I thought or I was not dealing with it as well as I
should have been dealing with it.
And I think what made it more dangerous because it was subtle.
If there are some cases where pride is very, very all out and
just very, very obvious from Beyoncé's, the person who is
proud even knows that they are proud.
But in their cases where you're doing some things out of pride,
but then you, you might not even realise it.
And that one is even more dangerous, that one is even more
difficult to handle. I realise that that was the case
a lot of times my the issues I might even have with pride were
just things that happened within my heart's ball at this was
enough for me to know and I'm wise enough to know or I'm not
eligible enough to know that God knows as well as I was.
I wasn't comfortable. I was crying, I felt frustrated.
I was temporarily, I know this might sound insolent of me.
This might sound ask me how dare you say this book?
For a while I sort of felt angry at God.
I felt I felt frustrated like, God, why did you give me some of
the graces or some of the privileges that you gave me and
you did not accompanied with this, the level of humility that
was needed, like why did the humility, why was it not a full
package? So as I'm giving this, I'm
giving the humility to follow it.
Why, why, why does there have to be this struggle?
I was, I was crying so bad. You think that that was it's,
you know, eventually I cleaned my eyes.
I stayed there after I stopped crying.
I stayed for a long time, you know, so my eyes would dry out.
They were still red. But this if a person sees me and
Droid, they might just assume you're sleeping.
But apart from that, I just I got myself fast.
So then I was washing. I was outside of my hostel.
I was washing clothes. I think that was when I was
listening to the third teaching on the subject matter of
humility. And my mom calls, she calls me
and she says she feels like talking to me on subject matter
of pride. That day I was at that point I
lost like of course I'd not say anything about my mouth was
like, Oh my God, I lost it. I was just I felt so set up that
day. I felt so pained.
I felt so hot. I felt so cornered.
I felt ganged up against like he felt like the people I was
listening to the preachers, my more God, everybody was just
choking me, that kind of thing. In retrospect, I look back, it
was all for my good it that day. I won't forget that day.
It did a lot of work on my heart.
So and she's talking to me and what's 1 move has talked to me.
She said she saw my deep in my deep was a picture of me.
I was in a suit. I was holding a mic.
Classic cliche, I know. But anyway, she said she wanted
to talk to me. She's just reminding me.
It's not something that she has not said before.
She reminded me one of the things I can destroy a person is
pride and things like that. And as she was saying, is it,
you know, when maybe somebody's just hits me hard, like it's,
it's slapping or maybe when you drink lime directly after it's
juiced, It was just slapping. I was, you know, I was doing my
body. After that, I, I broke down into
tears again. Like after the call, I just, I
started crying again, again. I felt so, so helpless.
I didn't know what to do. Why am I saying no?
Because I'm saying this because maybe there's someone who can
relate to this, maybe you can relate to this, maybe you've
been in this situation. If you cannot relate, I'm
envious of you. I'm happy for you.
I think it's good that pride is not something that you struggle
with. Although I do think everybody in
one way or the other has experienced it or has had to
overcome it. But of course, some people
struggle with more than others. But anyway, if there's someone
who maybe also has this issue or maybe I'm even aware, I think
that's even a more precarious situation.
But whatever the case might be, once you know that I can relate
and it's possible to overcome. It's possible.
It is possible by the Spirit of God.
So eventually after I had cried, I think one thing I know is at
the end of the day, while crying might feel good because at that
moment I felt very, very small. I felt very, very small.
I had spoken to God while I was crying.
I was trying to pray. I was trying to pray, but then
the words were not forming me. I don't know how to better
explain like when you're trying to talk, but then you're crying
or I trust that God hear the words of my hearts.
I want to believe I believe so no, I want to believe so I
believe so so I cried then you know the words were not for me.
I love that. But so after doing that while
crying helps me in that moment where I felt so small, I still
had to like take other steps. So I reached out to my pastor.
I poured myself out to him. I think that was the first time
I sent him maybe 15 messages at once.
I can't remember. So now I'm just looking back,
I'm wondering how he might have felt just seen 15 messages
coming. Because nobody.
I, I like to call myself as this cool and very comforted guy.
Like I just no, no stress, no nothing.
I don't I don't do too much. I kind of thing I would like to
be with. In fact, you know, they how did
Moses says and there was no man upon the surface of there that
was more meek. In this case, I would like to
say there was no man upon the surface of there that was more
gentle. OK, I'm drinking.
I think I'm I'm stretching it here.
All right, I'm kidding, I'm kidding.
I won't say I'm so gentle, but point is, I wasn't the kind of
overexpressive or dramatic person.
So if I now enter your DM with 20 messages, for example, like I
don't think he had seen me in that life before.
But anyway, I did it. I poured my heart out to him and
waited for his response. Like I think it took a lot for
me not to even just call him immediately.
Like OK, let me respect the fact that he might have something
doing at the time, so he might not even pick like if he's not
able to. And then with that.
So I waited for his response and eventually he did respond and I
think a lot of what he said really helped me.
A lot of what he said has stuck with me even till today.
I think the first thing was where he talked about or how he
opened me up to the fact that the struggle I had was already
proof of God's work. The tears, the feelings small,
the running to him, the uncontrollable tears before God
in prayer. Everything was proof of God's
work. The fact that I was aware, first
of all, that there was an issue and I was able to admit that
issue was humility. And him saying that, you know,
after you've had such a bad day or maybe you've been trying to
work on a maybe, OK, maybe it's the same way.
So many people are looking at you.
You're trying to cross a finish line and eventually you cross
that finish line and so many people are now clapping for you.
That was how he felt like, I don't know how better to
describe is maybe that feeling when you drink cold water after
having a very, very long day and the water just pours down your
throat. Point is, I was just so happy.
I was like, OK, I've not lost my salvation.
I'm being extreme. I've been, I'm exaggerating
essentially. But point is, it felt good like
OK, this is true. God is actually working in me.
Philippe Sylvester and God is now God is hardworking you both
to will and to do of his good pleasure, glory to God.
So he explains that he helped me to see.
It reminds me of Romans 7 where Paul talks about the struggle of
true natures where it's like the things I want to do, I find
myself not doing them. So I want to be a humble burden.
It's a struggle and in the things I don't want to do, I
find myself doing them. So I don't want to be proud, but
I find myself in that situation, that kind of the same, that
scenario where you end with thanks be to Jesus, Thanks be to
Jesus in whom I have victory. So he hope he he helped me to
see that better. He opened my eyes so that and it
was just such a breath of fresh air.
So maybe I listen to this, maybe you've also had these questions.
I think the fact that you're already having this question is
the fact that there is some sort of discomfort, some sort of
dissatisfaction with this thing we call pride with feeling
pride, with having that form of pride.
I feel like we've not even defined what pride is, but it's
basically this usually subtle feeling.
I mean, there's some form of pride that's authentic, you
know, maybe exhale like an activity.
It's not bad. You know, when your dad says I'm
proud of, it's not bad. But then there's the hubristic
kind. That one is a bit more
unhealthy. It's an unhealthy desire for
prestige essentially. And godliest pride there's I
don't think that's a hidden thing.
Pride basically comes from you thinking that you have something
that other people do not, whereas more often than lots of
people other people do. So that's pride.
So anyway, like I said, if maybe you also have this struggle, the
fact that you're not comfortable with it is already proof of
God's work in you don't lose hope.
There is when times that day where I just felt so hopeless
and just getting that reminder that this is proof of God's
work. God's work will not always be
smooth. I think something I've even
realized that if I did not have this struggle with pride, I'm
more likely to actually continue in pride or step into pride.
Like there's this kind of thing where when you have issues that
bring you back to God, it helps to remind you that you are not
self-sufficient, but rather you rely on God.
So if I did not have the struggle, I would not have had
the need to go back to God. I don't know if that makes
sense. So sometimes the struggles that
we have are God's way of keeping us close to him.
And initially might look somehow weird, but really it's wise.
It's God's way of keeping us close to him.
It's God's way of keeping us close to him.
And there are a few other things that he told me that you could
do about pride or that just lengths that you can do to deal
with pride. You want to understand that
humility is a choice. It's it's a choice.
It's, it's not this feeling that just envelops and you're just
like, oh, I'm humble of a sudden.
Or maybe there's a kind of glue or aura that surrounds you.
It's actually a choice. You want to make that choice to
be humble. And then there's prayer.
There's prayer. One of the beautiful things
about prayer is that you meet with God and whenever you meet
with God, whenever you are in the presence of God, his glory
or his person is magnified. Think Isaiah 6.
When Isaiah is before God, you see God in better life.
Like there's this awe or reverence for God that you have
or that's restored in the place of prayer.
So I think prayer helps you. Like how low can you go?
Basically prayer will help in that.
Prayer will determine a lot how low you can go, how well you can
die to pride. So there's that.
You give yourself to the regular listen of the word of God as
well. The word of God exposes our
flows or the wrong ways or the wrong ideologies.
We might have the wrong ways, we might think.
So you want to expose yourself to the word of God in voluminous
amounts in voluminous amounts. I feel like for this subject
matter of pride, for example, Proverbs is the go to guy.
He has Solomon has so much to say about it.
So like if you need like daily like 2 strokes of a dose of
humility or a dose of common sense, perhaps not a bad book.
So what are practical things you could do are to share your
imperfections, like talk about your imperfections like so many
times people just want to give off this perfect vibe this I
have it all figured out vibes. Sometimes just let people know
that you don't have it all figured out or let people know
that there have been times where you failed, even if you're doing
very well. That means I just let people
know you're human. Share your imperfections.
Let people know that you are not perfect.
Another thing is practice applauding or complimenting
people on whatever they do. So you see a person does
something so well and you admire it.
So you're even thinking, oh, I could never do this or this is
better? Or maybe, yeah, everyone
thinking I can do this better, maybe even know.
I think that's what's really crazy.
Like in some situations, you know that you can do this
better. Go and applaud that person.
Tell them well done. Allow your feelings to catch up
later on, but then let your actions portray humility.
So God knows that deep down you are trying to what, step into
this act or spirit of humility. I don't know how better to say
it, but point is, compliment people, applaud them, tell them
well done, you've done this so well, good, keep on going.
Maybe if they need advice somewhere or fight graciously.
Don't hold the advice because you just feel like if I give out
this advice, people might get as good as me or I might not be as
good or I might not be the original guy.
And last thing is, ask for help. Ask for help.
As much as you're offering answers, you are helping people.
Ask for help. Even in cases where maybe you
understand it, you could still ask for someone's help.
Maybe just to make things better, to help solidify what it
is that you're doing, or whatever your approach might be.
Ask for help. Let people know, oh I need help
with this, don't always want to figure it out on your own.
Ask for help. I remember there was this time I
was trying to do something so one of my friends, she just
wanted to support me and she asked me for my account number.
This was like after the episode where I had cried and all of
that. This was a long time.
So God, I've done a lot of work in my heart and I think some
months back or months back if she asked me, I will never have
given her the account number. I just felt like no like why
would she help me and things like that.
And really we'd like of my own self.
I could foot the bill for what I wanted to do, but she just
wanted to help. This was her being a good
friend. And honestly, like a little
money is not a bad thing in family.
Why would you? How would you collect?
It's like, but I remember God speaking to me that meant that
collecting this thing is one of the ways by which you humble
yourself. And so I, I told her thank you.
I sent my account number. I told her, thank you so much.
Until today, I'm still grateful for what she did.
But more than that, I'm grateful for what God did in my heart in
that moment, Graceful God did my heart in that moment.
Because really, I had the mind to just find our car number,
just send the money back and stuff like that.
So, yeah, I, I, I think that's pretty much it's for this
episode. I really hope that this helps
someone. Maybe you have this issue, maybe
you don't. Maybe it's something that's a
struggle for you. Maybe it's something that's
you've never at least thought of, you've never really had an
issue with. Whatever the case, I really hope
that there was something you could glean from this episode.
Please share this with someone as well.
Maybe somebody else might have this issue or maybe somebody
else might be interested in hearing this.
Please share this with them. Duo to subscribe as well or to
follow. If you're not following, like
maybe you've forgotten, maybe you've just been moving on.
Now might be a good day to do that.
You could also give the show a rating.
Yeah. And please pray for me as well.
I think how something else came to mind.
Somebody's back. Like, Lord, please help him as
well. Lord, that kind of thing.
I don't know. Whatever is laid upon your
heart. So, yeah, take care of yourself.
I hope you have a lovely weekend or week.
Whenever you're listening to this.
I just hope you have a lovely rest of the day or yeah, OK,
yes. Or yeah or whatever.
Just take care of yourself. Bye for now.
Stay rooted.
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